abracadang:

when i was little i wanted to go spend the night with my friend but my mom said no so i choreographed some dance to breakaway by kelly clarkson and i even broke a toothpick when the song said something about breaking away and she still said no 

(via unescapable)

piquic:

rich people be like “oh my shoe untied, I’ll buy a new one

(via slutwhat)

burgrs:

DID YOU KNOW: WHEN U KNOCK ON SOMEONE’S BEDROOM DOOR UR NOT SUPPOSED TO OPEN THE DOOR RIGHT AFTER U KNOCK WHAT KIND OF WARNING IS THAT IF IM IN THE NUDE IM NOT GIONG TO BE ABLE TO PUT CLOTHES ON IN 0.2 SECONDS U PIECE OF SHIT WAIT UNTIL I SAY U CAN COME IN

(via unescapable)

nunsnroses:

There is never a bad time to listen to arctic monkeys. walking to class sadly? arctic monkeys. feeling lonely and unattractive? arctic monkeys. getting undressed for bed? surprise you’re now doing a strip tease. this is the power of the monkeys 

(via i-know-my-enemy)

WHAT A GIRL WANTS

concert tickets

WHAT A GIRL NEEDS

money for concert tickets

(Source: wearentinthecrowd, via fake-mermaid)

slayboybunny:

heres a fun fact that shows a lot about me: im pretty allergic to bananas but didn’t know it at all growing up until one day when i was like 17 i was like “man, i love bananas. theyre always so tangy and make ur mouth all tingly” and my friend was like “thats. definitley not what a banana is supposed to be like” one doctors trip later, turns out im fucking allergic to bananas.  

(via bullied)

squldward:

crapaccino:

HAHA WOW I JUST WON A YEAR SUPPLY OF CALENDARS 

isnt that just one calendar 

(via asian)

largecoin:

what a day!!!!!!!! nothing happened and i was tired

(via stop)

heliolisk:

thatweirdphysicist:

heliolisk:

I HAD 3 PIECES OF CHEESECAKE AND ICE CREAM OH MY GOD

What a champ

YOU DONT UNDERSTAND IM LACTOSE INTOLERANT

(via i-n-e-f-f-a-b-l-e-m-e)

If you won’t sing in the car with me when we drive, we can’t be friends

(Source: overdosed, via distraction)

goobsohard:

The sexual tension between two people when one of them says “make me”

(via cumfort)

booknutty:

solemn-things:

booknutty:

if we got all the cats in the world to meow at exactly the same time how loud would it be

Well the average cat meow is like 65/75dB (above speaking volume but below shouting) and there are about 2bn cats in the world, so, by that math, 130-150bn dB. Which is about 100 million jets taking off at once.

catastrophically loud 

(via i-n-e-f-f-a-b-l-e-m-e)

kalories:

i hate the phrase “life is short” because life is literally the longest thing that any of us will ever experience

(via sunshinelollypops-and-rainbows)

perks-of-being-chinese:

little blood orange riding hood

(Source: perks-of-being-chinese, via slutwhat)