hbunot:

how would you even start sex like kiss kiss oh ok look im inside you

(via fake-mermaid)

perks-of-being-chinese:

little blood orange riding hood

(Source: perks-of-being-chinese, via hotboyproblems)

daftpostpunk:

my dying words better be “im going ghost”

(via succeeding)

sexioto:

that boy you just called gay? well he is gay. he’s your boyfriend. both of you are gay. how do you keep forgetting this, jeffery

(via rain-force)

guy:

*blows up balloon* *names it molly* *pops molly* turn up

(Source: guy, via i-n-e-f-f-a-b-l-e-m-e)

seifukucat:

damnit grandpa it’s 2021, they’re not spiders anymore, they’re arachnid americans and more importantly my friends

(via cringing)

thegenderqueeralchemist:

asexual, bisexual and pansexual people are actually made of stardust and flames and are immortal pass it on

(via i-know-my-enemy)

llcooljofficial:

one time in 7th grade everyone in my class got really quiet so i said “dildo” just to see the ridiculous reaction since i knew how immature 7th graders were

for 30 minutes, there was an uncontrollable uproar of laughter and someone fell and hit their head on a chair and had to go to the nurse

because i said dildo.

(via frosted)

cookingmamas:

people think that i am cruel but really i have the heart of a child. 4 or 5 of them actually i collect them.

(Source: frappuccinoqueen, via frosted)

hippiebabysitterr:

today i heard 2 kids talking about buying fake IDs after school and so i started eavesdropping cuz u know thats big kid stuff and then one was like “yeah but is all this really worth it like im pretty sure the fake IDs cost more than the fish we r gonna buy”

to buy fish at petco u have to be 18 or older

they were going to get fakes to buy fish

(Source: lohnerism, via no-i-wont-run-along)

bromar:

*goes to england*

me: excuse me, what time is it?

brit: time wots that m8?

*big ben chimes*

everyone starts to count the bongs on their fingers*

brit: OI IT’S 7 BONG

(via love-pain-life-die)

policecodeforzombieontheloose:

bowtiesontimelords:

So I work at an ice cream store, and this girl walked in today and quietly asked me who the man behind the counter was. I responded that he was my manager. 

"Oh, he’s cute. What’s his name?"

"Justin, but fair warning, he plays for the, uh, other team."

"What team?"

And I swear to fucking god four people (including myself) yelled ‘WILDCATS’ so loud she spilled her drink.

And I thought he was gay 

(Source: quantum-sheep, via golden--state--of-mind)