raging-woodcock:

Girl look at that body,

Girl look at that body,

Girl look at that body,

We should probably call the police who knows how long it’s been in the river.

(via cringing)

tall-dark-n-creepy:

dajo42:

whenever somebody says like “so what did you do today?” just look off into the distance and say “the right thing”

Then stare right into their eyes and say, “I hope”

(via cringing)

shavingryansprivates:

is that a banana in your pocket or are you just happy to see me

it’s a banana?

why do you have a banana in your pocket

(via succeeding)

  • iPhone user: I'm so excited to get the iPhone 6
  • Android user: Why do people with iPhones think they're so much better than everyone else
  • iPhone user: I just like this pho-
  • Android user: The Samsung Anus5000 had that screen *snort* like 2 years ago! *glomping noise* How are you enjoying 2012 you mindless sheeple?? *uses inhaler to suppress incoming asthma attack*

pink-vulva:

reasons i want to look GOOD 

  • for myself
  • for myself
  • to plant the seed of envy in other bitch’s hearts
  • for myself

(Source: pinkvelourtracksuit, via mkaybyeee)

cuddles that get sexual then get sweet again

(Source: cumtomelove, via irmawbu)

lilbitch2006:

u are a garden and sadly i’m like 12 gardens or a greenhouse. i’m better

(Source: thhot, via cringing)