when i was little i wanted to go spend the night with my friend but my mom said no so i choreographed some dance to breakaway by kelly clarkson and i even broke a toothpick when the song said something about breaking away and she still said no
DID YOU KNOW: WHEN U KNOCK ON SOMEONE’S BEDROOM DOOR UR NOT SUPPOSED TO OPEN THE DOOR RIGHT AFTER U KNOCK WHAT KIND OF WARNING IS THAT IF IM IN THE NUDE IM NOT GIONG TO BE ABLE TO PUT CLOTHES ON IN 0.2 SECONDS U PIECE OF SHIT WAIT UNTIL I SAY U CAN COME IN
There is never a bad time to listen to arctic monkeys. walking to class sadly? arctic monkeys. feeling lonely and unattractive? arctic monkeys. getting undressed for bed? surprise you’re now doing a strip tease. this is the power of the monkeys
WHAT A GIRL WANTS
WHAT A GIRL NEEDS
money for concert tickets
heres a fun fact that shows a lot about me: im pretty allergic to bananas but didn’t know it at all growing up until one day when i was like 17 i was like “man, i love bananas. theyre always so tangy and make ur mouth all tingly” and my friend was like “thats. definitley not what a banana is supposed to be like” one doctors trip later, turns out im fucking allergic to bananas.
HAHA WOW I JUST WON A YEAR SUPPLY OF CALENDARS
isnt that just one calendar
I HAD 3 PIECES OF CHEESECAKE AND ICE CREAM OH MY GOD
What a champ
YOU DONT UNDERSTAND IM LACTOSE INTOLERANT
If you won’t sing in the car with me when we drive, we can’t be friends
if we got all the cats in the world to meow at exactly the same time how loud would it be
Well the average cat meow is like 65/75dB (above speaking volume but below shouting) and there are about 2bn cats in the world, so, by that math, 130-150bn dB. Which is about 100 million jets taking off at once.
i hate the phrase “life is short” because life is literally the longest thing that any of us will ever experience