people who keep complaining about their miserable life but do nothing to try to change it get on my nerves
a guy once told my lesbian friend that being a lesbian is a huge turn off for guys and that she’ll never find a boyfriend.
life hack: get a tattoo. if the people at the job interview notice it and look concerned, laugh a little and explain “it’s just temporary.” months later if your boss asks why you lied and said it was a temporary tattoo, stare off into the distance and whisper with a tremulous voice the poor excuse for truth your subconscious has been fighting for its entire insignificant existence: “everything is temporary.”
My dad just yelled “I SWEAR I’LL CUT OFF WHAT’S LEFT OF YOUR DICK IF YOU FUCKING TOUCH MY COKE DON’T YOU DARE” and I came in the room like what the fuck and it was my dad holding up a shoe and my cat sitting by a glass of coca-cola with his paw almost touching inside of it and both of them didn’t even break eye contact with each other
*GETS FURIOUSLY JEALOUS OVER LITTLE THINGS THAT DONT MATTER*
i had a dream where tornadoes were made illegal or something i just remember like a dozen police cars driving directly toward a tornado with their sirens on and all getting sucked into the tornado
im not crying there’s just overpriced college education in my eye
I think the reason everyone likes Orange is the New Black so much is because we get to see everyone’s backstory and realize that even if they seem like a bad person, they’re still human and they have struggles and passions just like everyone else.
Except Vee. Fuck you Vee.